Peek-a-boo!

Just when you thought I was over the “blogging thing” I got all the techy stuff figured out!

It has been a crazy few months since we last spent time together… So much has happened and not all good. 

I figured out the sourdough and now I’m making 2 to 4 loaves a week,  depending on who wants it.   We eat so much bread now!  It is fantastic and makes the best toast.   I ventured into a wheat version which turned out tasty as well.  Today, I’m trying a marble rye.  I’m skeptical, it seems heavy right now but I’ll try letting it rise longer and it should be fine.

I’ve also done pounds and pounds of meat smoking and grilling.   I’ve experimented with some different lump charcoals and rubs. Thanks to a new EGGcessory gift from my kids,  I am pleased to report I’ve conquered the ribs and butts!  I figure I’ll take out a small loan next and try brisket,  tomahawks, or Wagyu.  It’s ridiculous how COVID has pushed up meat prices.

Some of the low and slow, smoked favorites have been bacon wrapped jalapeno poppers and bacon wrapped asparagus or bacon wrapped pterodactyl eggs (stuffed poblanos wrapped with sausage).  Are you sensing a theme here?  I’m almost certain if I bacon wrapped shoe leather and put it on the grill with a little hickory smoke, my crew would eat it.

I’ve spent a lot of time traveling between my home and my mother’s home this year.  Initially to help her through some medical appointments and extended visits, then for burial arrangements and estate issues.   This is some of the reason for my lengthy absence from this internet hideaway that is known as BBS (Browned Butter & Sugar).   It is a long story and one I will save for later, but it has been very difficult.  Her death was much sooner than it should have been – even with her health issues.  Sometimes the life-saving medicine doesn’t help, you end up being in that .000001% that it kills.   I’ve struggled.   I *AM* struggling.  My heart hurts and I miss her.  It’s a hurt I will never get used to I’m sure.

I’ve spent time in the yard, reflecting and remembering, trying to heal.   Most times that alone time is often worse, you start to wonder if there was something you could have done to change the trajectory of the future.  Shoulda, woulda, coulda.  It’s very hard not to live in the past,  and even harder to keep pushing forward and do what needs done.  Time marches on and you gotta keep up.